Notes To Self
Now that I sit here as the twenty six year young Tess, the girl my younger self envisioned, the age I imagined to be thriving, what have I learnt?
Who am I, really, in this moment and time?
Who am I, really, in this moment and time?
Reality settling in, hold tight folks.
Life more often then not doesn’t play out as we expect it to, therefore as stupid it may sound turning twenty six truly rocked me. You see, I’ve always been one of those frustrating people who have their life very acutely planned out. There has NEVER been a point in my life where I’ve wondered who I am, where I’m trying to get to and what I have to offer to the world, confidence through the goddamn roof as some might’ve said. Yet I simply saw it as very fine tuned and well practised manifestation, optimism and of coarse… naivety. Now here I sit, having learnt a few things and seen more than my poor mother would hate to hear and you know what, I’m CONFUSED!
Yes, I admit it, I’m sitting here simply baffled at how incredibly contrasting my twenty sixth lap is looking. I compare it to my vision, to my hopes and dreams and it rocks me like a boat in a storm to realise my entire life has capsized and I need to dive real fucking deep to find the treasure I left behind, move forward and figure out what it is this universe TRULY has in store for me! So, 2023 is going to be full of many things, as excited I am i’d be a fool to try prove i’m not equally petrified to the point where I legitimately wet the bed the other night and had to change my sheets at 3:53am… yes, we’ve truly hit that point.
Whilst most of the fundamental moving blocks that make up my life thus far are wriggling around under my feet, I have to find a strategic way to keep walking without anything concrete to stabilise me. How? Well… letting go and controlling the only thing I can, which is my attitude.
All I can control right now is my attitude.
This means being 100% adaptable for whatever life throws at me and listening… yes, listening. When you slow down, you give yourself the brain capacity to listen more and talk less, from that you learn. Without learning you will not grow, obviously that’s not fucking rocket science is it? With a couple of good motto’s and an open mind, I can tackle my instability and allow this year to unfold how it’s due to, however the universe sees me blossoming, as contrasting that may be from how I envisioned it. If I can do this, if I can let go enough to receive, I will reach a height of internal success that’s greater than any dream I once wished upon…
“Not a soul in the world can take from you what’s meant for you, so relax and receive.”
More trust, less control
More action, less talk
More discipline, less self criticism
More listening, less noise