From the day a little girl was told to grow up, for that she did. Constitution one, first hour in office, The mind is numb.

“It was such a foreign experience to me that my first question was quite literally ‘how do I use the mouse’. After so long of resisting the reality of adulting, here I sat, in the very seat I once promised myself I would never. dare. sit.”

As I took to my desk, I could feel sweat beads gathering across my body. Mainly from the frantic rush to make it through the door before 8am, after an hour too long rolling around in bed resisting the day I had ahead… Yet also to my dismay from the anxiety and nerves I unsuccessfully attempted to shrink.

Luckily, I managed to collect myself after the first hour and find comfort in staying as silent as a mouse, hoping it would lead to their lack of context for personal judgement. Yet to conclude if that was a success, as it was such a foreign experience to me that my first question was quite literally “how do I use the mouse”…

Powering through my introduction tasks, painfully navigating my way through the company apps like a fish out of water, I was left with a spare hour before the day came to rest. Multitasking my acting skills of being interested in office chat, I pondered on why this unknown ache weighed down my vocabulary… In the realisation that after so long of resisting adulting, here I sat, in the very seat I once promised myself I would never. dare. sit. That the ache so numbing making me loose my words, was due to the sheer realisation that on this day I had broken my childhood promise, on this day I had accepted and entered the corporate hierarchy, the 9-5 doom, the reality my parents forever told me I would never escape. 

To be continued.