From Within
“I can feel this internal release of past pretentiousness,
almost a state of enlightened ego death”
My world is rapidly changing, as I find myself becoming something foreign once again. Yet this time it feels right, this time it feels internally sound. With the profound realisation that I’m coming into a version of myself that I’ve envisioned for a very long time. The most authentic version of me, I’ll ever know, to date.
I’ve always known that throughout our life, we evolve and change into different versions of ourself. That we are in fact not supposed to stay the same, as it’s not consistency that forces us to achieve higher frequencies of ourself, yet it’s the willingness to adapt to the forever changing horizons of our being as our soul navigates through the learnings it entered this life to achieve. If you think about it on a much deeper and more challenging level, we really are just the physical shell of a beautiful version of us lying within.
So WTF is going on ?! WHY DO I FEEL SO FUNKY ?!
We’re sitting smack bang in the middle of a universal evolution. Each and every one of us is being tested and trialled to rid our old ways of being and open ourselves up to the person we’ve always wanted to be. It makes sense, really. Everyone’s been feeling lost and confused, they’ve been saddened by the lack of satisfaction and excitement in their normal day in day out, craving something more with the subtle knowing it’s directly in front of them. We just have to open our eyes…
So, what are we supposed to do right now? “I DON’T KNOW WHAT I’M SUPPOSED TO DO TESSA!!!!” Yea I know, I get it and trust me I’m feeling all these feels with you. You’re not alone, as I mentioned earlier this is a universal evolution! What you need to do is find a perfect balance between surrendering and defining. This means digging your fucking heels so deep into the ground in order to get shit fucking done and make this new light shine bright on you! WHILST, still allowing yourself to feel, experience, do and accept whatever is coming your way. It’s fucking hard, I understand that, but it’s crucial to find that balance right now.
When things get really challenging it’s legitimately always because you’re sitting right on the edge of a life changing experience and or lesson. This means by surrendering yourself to whatever it is the universe is throwing at you, will inevitably allow you to walk toward internal peace. Now I’m aware it’s all very well and good for me to tell you to let go when it feels like your entire world is spiralling around you, but trust me here… Time is a healer and if you run away right now you will only cause more distress and un-fortune to come your way. These lessons are CRUCIAL to your journey on this planet right now, your soul NEEDS you to listen, learn, adapt and grow. You simply cannot keep doing things the way you were/have been for so long. It’s time and I know you’re aware of this…
What does this all look like for me right now?
I desire to abandon my whole wardrobe, because even looking at these items of modern hierarchy make my head spin. ‘How did I once think that was me?’ I wonder… I want cowboy boots, white lace dresses, huge pendant earrings and colourful patterned robes.
Noticing things I’ve never seen before, having realised they’ve been staring at me this whole time. Chasing rogue ways of expression as if I’m entering back into my child like nature. Thriving off creation and colours and going crazy over this boldness seeping out of my mind. It’s thrilling, it’s new, it’s a happening.
A wave coming over me, engulfing my entire body like a message from the universe to rid the past. As I come up for a breath of fresh air, I find a lightness overcome me, the lightness of new beginnings, of a beautiful doorway into the next stage of… me.
I want the sun, the moon, the higher hills and the deepest oceans.
Surrender. What is due to be yours will come, what is not will fall. Let go, let be.
It simply is.